Burglar Alarm Britain

Where vigilante culture meets vernacular design

Category Archives: Sticker

“Securi-Guard”, Fowey: slimy shield


“Securi-Guard” burglar alarm, Fowey • So, now we move on to fortifications on shields, combining the popular tropes of militia and aristocracy. It’s amazing the label in question is still attached, because this wins the prize for the slimiest burglar alarm I’ve ever found. It’s on a wave-lashed quayside building in Fowey, Cornwall, famed for being a) hard to say (it’s pronounced “foy”, to rhyme with “toy”) and b) where the novelist Daphne du Maurier lived. She wrote eerie, suspenseful stories such as The Birds, Jamaica Inn and Don’t Look Now (all since made into scary films), so perhaps there’s a giant pecky bird or stabby red-coated dwarf lurking behind that castellated wall. • Spotted: Town Quay, Fowey, Cornwall, PL23, England, 2012 • Politics: In the Liberal Democrat constituency of St. Austell and Newquay

“Rampart Security”, St Albans: un-illustrated


“Rampart Security” burglar alarm, St Albans • Apart from Bastion, this is the only fortification alarm featured that doesn’t actually picture its defences. It’s pasted over a vintage Shorrock, unless I’m very much mistaken – although of a type I’ve not featured yet, I’m surprised to discover. (Update: as the comment below suggests, this is in fact a Securiplace alarm – similar box, colour and initials, hence my confusion.) • Spotted: Town centre, St Albans, Hertfordshire, AL1, England, 2010 • Politics: In the Conservative constituency of St Albans

“Direct Security”, Hackney: nice old arrow

“Direct Security” burglar alarm, Hackney • This is a nice old arrow logo – it doesn’t even bother with “01″ on the phone number. I found it on a defunct tyre shop, which was encrusted with Direct’s devices – I also snapped an even older version, which I’ll wheel out one day. I wonder if this Direct has any connection with the boring Direct Site Services sounder I featured a few days ago? • Spotted: Chatsworth Road, Hackney, London, E5, England, 2011 • Politics: In the Labour constituency of Hackney North and Stoke Newington

“Stew’s” burglar alarm, Margate: matey eco-shield

“Stew’s Electrical & Security” burglar alarm, Margate • This would better belong with the shield forms at the beginning of my “uncommon shapes” theme, but it’s a last-minute discovery and the only example of this box type I’ve ever found. It’s also unique in being cheerily and possessively titled for the proprietor’s first rather than last name. The box looks a bit like a cheap, upside-down version of this ESS enclosure – which, according to the commenters, was a chrome shield variation CQR Multibox. All Ramsgate-based Stew’s matey details are on a large label, atypical for a sticker in looking professionally-designed. It features tiny icons of those popular security tropes lightning and locksmithery, plus an unusually harmonious (for burglar alarms) pale blue and green colour scheme, which wouldn’t look out of place on eco-friendly washing powder. • Spotted: Market Street, Margate, Kent, CT9, England, 2012 • Politics: In the Conservative constituency of Thanet North

“Regal Security Systems”, Lambeth: vintage village


“Regal Security Systems” burglar alarm, Lambeth • Many moons ago I featured a Regal sticker which had taken over the shadowy running man on an RH Alarms box. And here’s another, probably older design, that’s been slapped over an ancient bell box whose name even the magic of Photoshop can’t reveal. I found it in the fascinating warren of decaying covered markets that weaves beneath Brixton’s railway lines like a multi-ethnic souk. It’s now been reinvented as “Brixton Village” and, amidst a tangle of units selling everything from “cheap gold” to goats’ heads, is home to a swathe of excellent pop-up eateries, from one of which I took this photo. True to its dodgy reputation, the area is positively bristling with burglar alarms, many as vintage as this one. So although I’m not keen to wander the Coldharbour Lane backstreets with an expensive camera – or even without one, for that matter – I’ll be back. Preferably with tactical air cover. • Spotted: Market Row, Brixton, Lambeth, London SW9, England, 2011 • Politics: In the Labour constituency of Dulwich and West Norwood

“King Security”, Sheffield: Jason King, that is


“King Security Ltd” burglar alarm, Sheffield • Only a small crown for this bell box, whose design recalls a kind of 1960s retro-grooviness, or possibly cheap frozen food packaging. It somehow makes me think of hirsute ’70s TV detective Jason King: that’s him, down below. • Spotted: Wicker, Sheffield, South Yorkshire, S3, England, 2010 • Politics: In the Labour constituency of Sheffield Central


Above: Peter Wyngarde, plus inadvisable facial hair, as Jason King. Calm down, ladies!

“ICU”, Hackney: hip heptagon

“ICU” burglar alarm, Hackney • My final vision-themed “backronym” offers up the unambiguous message “I see you”. It’s a nice idea, although the label could equally well be a piece of conceptual street art. Note that the sounder is the first I’ve posted with seven equal sides – a shape known occasionally as a septagon, but more usually as a heptagon. Or in this case, a hip Hackney heptagon. Fact: its sides all meet at an angle of 128.5714286 degrees. Thank you, Wikipedia! • Spotted: Rivington Street, Hackney, London, EC2, England, 2011 • Politics: In the Labour constituency of Hackney South and Shoreditch

“IC Integrated Security Ltd”, Southwark: backronym

“IC Integrated Security Ltd” burglar alarm, Southwark • To end this vision theme, a few examples of punning abbreviations, where the characters stand for entire words or syllables. While broadly acronyms, these seem to be a grey area in the English language, with no precise term for the multifarious kinds of letter-play available, though in an extensive entry, fascinating to those of a sub-editorial bent, Wikipedia suggests “initialism” as a catch-all term. I suspect this is what they would cutely sub-class a “backronym” – “one deliberately designed to be especially apt for the thing being named” – as Integrated Security happily reduces to iC, reading as “I see”, or even “eye see”. Had the designer dotted the “i” with an eye, this would have created enough levels of punning to end the universe. It possibly did end the company, because their website was last updated in 2009. • Spotted: Old Jamaica Road, Southwark, London, SE16, England, 2010 • Politics: In the Liberal Democrat constituency of Bermondsey and Old Southwark

“ASG Vision”, Bristol: flamboyant tail

“ASG Vision” (over “OS Resolution”) burglar alarm, Bristol • Aha – I love a sticker, and especially a violent yellow one. Bristol seems to have a particularly thriving burglar alarm ecosystem, and here, ASG Vision have effected a brutal takeover of a hapless OS Resolution box (both  firms I have come across this one time only). It’s included due to the “vision” reference; what the acronym ASG refers to remains opaque, but I reckon its flamboyant tail is a very abstract eye. • Spotted: Broad Street, Bristol, Avon, BS1, England, 2011 • Politics: In the Liberal Democrat constituency of Bristol West

Eye sticker, Westminster: creepy graffiti

Nameless burglar alarm with eye sticker, City of Westminster • Ushering in the theme of “vision”, which for obvious reasons is one of the most popular burglar alarm tropes, is this rather disturbing example of sticker graffiti. The creepy intervention lurks next to an art gallery (Haunch of Venison, named after the yard it’s in) – probably no coincidence. I’ve discovered the sticker is by a street artist called Paul Insect – a print of a similar image would set you back nearly £700, as you can see here at Opus Art• Spotted: Haunch of Venison Yard, City of Westminster, London, W1, England, 2011 • Politics: In the Conservative constituency of Cities of London and Westminster

“Falcon”, Sheffield: melting predator

“Falcon” burglar alarm, Sheffield • A photocopied falcon that’s attacked and taken over a cute little Smart Alarm, then – like a cake in Macarthur Park – melted in the rain. Professional! • Spotted: Union Street, Sheffield, South Yorkshire, S1, England, 2010 • Politics: In the Labour constituency of Sheffield Central

“Kestrel Alarms”, Brighton: through the keyhole

“Kestrel Alarms” burglar alarm, Brighton • Another Kestrel that’s made a hostile takeover, this time of a firm called Keyhole Security, whose name resides in a giant keyhole shape – I need to find one of these unstickered for my “locksmithery” set. Despite sporting Lib-Dem orange, yesterday’s Kestrel was in the Conservative consituency of Brighton Kemptown, while this example lives in the only Green constituency in England, Brighton Pavilion. Both Brighton constituencies, along with my blog, will be mightily shaken up if the proposed boundary changes come into effect, morphing into Lewes & Brighton East (likely Tory) and Brighton Pavilion & Hove (likely Labour). In other words, bye bye Greens. (There’s a brilliant map from the Guardian here showing the changes.) • Spotted: North Road, Brighton, East Sussex, BN1, England, 2010 • Politics: In the Green constituency of Brighton Pavilion

“Kestrel Alarms”, Brighton: hostile takeover

“Kestrel Alarms” burglar alarm, Brighton • Last week cages, this week birds. I had so many bird alarms I divided them into two parts. The first was “arbitrary birds“, which were random and generally benign – bluebirds, doves, macaws and the like. Part two, “hawkish birds”, are more fierce, being the kind that rip apart large prey with their talons (technically I should have included owls here, but as they seem to feature on alarms for their cute or wise qualities, they’re in with the benign bunch). And although this cartoon Kestrel looks pretty unthreatening – like an avian member of the Blues Brothers, with his cool shades and cheeky smile (or that’s how I read it) – he’s made an effective hostile takeover of a box previously owned by LanGuard Alarms, a firm who still exist. At first I thought LanGuard was a stupid name, but it was founded by someone called Lang, so there is some logic there. And yes, I do know Lan also means Local Area Network. • Spotted: Old Steine, Brighton, East Sussex, BN1, England, 2004 • Politics: In the Conservative constituency of Brighton Kemptown

“Mayfair Selby” label, York: faded chains

“Mayfair Selby” label on “York Alarm Centre” burglar alarm, York • Now we move from locks to chains, of which this is a particularly heraldic example. It once said Mayfair Selby, though the red text has long ago faded away; and by the magic of Photoshop, I have also discovered that the alarm underneath says York Alarm Centre, which presumably exists no more. A security system palimpsest, if you will. • Spotted: Shipton Street, York, Yorkshire, YO30, England, 2011 • Politics: In the Labour constituency of York Central

“Regal”, Wandsworth: a work by Neville Brody?

Regal Security Systems burglar alarm, Wandsworth, 2002“Regal Security Systems” burglar alarm (stickered over RH Alarms), Wandsworth • Oh, the ignominy – having another firm’s logo plastered over your head. There’s enough of the original design showing to discern that this is an RH Alarms box, the same as yesterday’s faded felon – their trademark running figures had clearly become yesterday’s men. The Regal design is also pretty ancient by now, and looks inspired by the 1980s works of Neville Brody (famed art director of style mag The Face), especially his 1984 record sleeve for Marilyn’s Baby U Left Me. I’m sure the logo font is one of his: it’s like a cross between Dome and Typeface 4. I can’t find a digital version, but of course any old designer could have photocopied the letters from magazine headlines, as was common practice pre-DTP. However Brody did design things like estate agents’ boards in his earlier days, so it’s not inconceivable he had a hand in this – and a conspiracy theorist would note that his font foundry, Fuse, ran a design competition on the theme of security in 2005. The only regal connotations of the honeycomb device are royal jelly and queen bees (or, coincidentally, The Royal College of Art, where Neville Brody is now head of graphics), but the conceit of taking an aristocratic title is very common amongst the burglar alarm fraternity – and a theme I shall return to. • Spotted: Battersea Park Road, Wandsworth, London, SW11, England, 2002 • Politics: In the Conservative constituency of Battersea

Regal Security Systems burglar alarm, Wandsworth, 2002

The mystery of “Dogs Full of Money” – solved

How I went in search of a Banksy, and ended up with a Dog Full of Money.

Links to DFM Flickr gallery

A selection of Dogs Full of Money stickers

A few days ago I posted a burglar alarm from Bristol with a sticker of a funny dog on it. It looked a bit like a Banksy, so I decided to research it – and what I came across, via the magic of Google, was the phenomenon of “Dogs Full of Money”. Known as DFMs for short, these were a spate of photocopied stickers which appeared internationally in 2006, all bearing mutated variations on the outline of a dog-shaped charity collecting box with three coins dropping into its head, as above.

The dog on the burglar alarm was too decayed to guess its author; what led me to hope it was a Banksy was its confident style, and the witty way it made the Shorrock branding read “Shock”. Excitingly, the first similar sticker thrown up by Google did indeed sport a Banksy logo, but the dog itself was so badly drawn that the logo had to be a forgery, done as part of the mutation. The others I came across were even more amateur-looking, but still I clung to the hope that the burglar alarm dog was by Mr Banks himself, perhaps an uber-mutt from which the DFMs had been copied by lesser hands. After all, it had the refinement of overlapping coins, whereas the other stickers depicted them spaced out. I realise now that was just so the image could be cut out in one piece, but in the grip of this heady mystery, it seemed significant.

L-R: DFM burglar alarm; overlapping coins; faux Banksy; definitely not Banksy.

So I worried away like a terrier at the world of DFMs, chasing clues down a maze of ever-older and obscurer web-holes. I turned up stickers from New York City, Barcelona, East London, Cambridge and Bristol, but the vast majority came from the distinctly unglamorous Hertfordshire town of Hitchin (there’s a good survey of them by photographer Paul Davis here). I discovered a bit of press interest in 2006, but no info on the artists; and the “official” website, http://www.dogsfullofmoney.com, had long since disappeared. I finally hit paydirt on Flickr, under a DFM photo by David Cowie, where in 2006 someone called dogfullofmoney had left this comment:

“What’s a Dog full of Money?” It is NOT a ‘Guide dogs for the Blind’ dog shaped collection box known as a ‘Fred’!!! Let’s just get that straight. A Dog full of Money or DFM is one of those plastic dogs you sometimes see outside charity shops which you can put money or JUNK in it’s head. They are very rare these days, in fact the only one we currently know of lives in a supermarket in Bristol. My friend Satan Christ and I (Steven Mugabe) are Dog full of Money enthusiasts. We produce stickers, posters, stencils, T-shirts etc…. to celebrate DFMs.” [sic]

I tracked the colourfully-named duo mentioned in this comment down to a flurry of 2006 posts on a popular bulletin board (a kind of underground chat forum), in which a bunch of mates discussed the genesis of DFMs using language which – like the statement above – gave every impression of being written by over-excited but well-educated adolescents. Along the way I unintentionally found out quite a bit more about some of the individuals concerned, which shows that even if you don’t use Facebook, it’s hard to be anonymous on the internet. Presumably they’ve all grown up and moved on now (I hope so for their sakes), so I won’t give any more details. But, unexcitingly, all the evidence suggests that the DFM phenomenon was down to an in-joke by a bunch of workshy, tea-drinking students with bases in Hitchin and Bristol, having a brief bit of fun in mid-2006 – after which the DFMs dried up.

L-R, charity boxes by: Guide Dogs for the Blind; PDSA; RSPCA; Damien Hirst

For one final obsessive twist, I turned my attention to the item the DFM was based on. That was more fun than chasing down the stickers, because vintage figure-based charity boxes are genuinely evocative things, which have inspired fine artists as well as graffiti artists – for instance Damien Hirst’s Charity, a giant model of a girl in leg irons, copied from a 1960s Spastics Society box. The Flickr comment above claims the DFM dog was not a Guide Dogs for the Blind one, but my image research suggests that it’s the only charity which portrays a Labrador – the PDSA and RSPCA use other breeds. The drawing on the DFM sticker is good enough to recognise as a Labrador, so in fact it surely was based on a guide dog box – I’ve linked to a Flickr gallery of some below, and there’s a group dedicated to them on Flickr for those who want more.

The moral of the story is twofold. Firstly, tangling with surveillance can have long-term consequences: who’d have thought that, four years after putting a sticker on a burglar alarm, some weird design freak would hunt you down on the internet? Secondly, try not to get dragged into in the black hole of obsession that is web research: I have just wasted several days of my lifespan investigating and writing about a load of unfunny, ill-designed stickers – even joining a stupid teenage bulletin board – simply because I wanted a dog sticker on a burglar alarm to be by an overrated Bristol graffiti artist. I still like that particular sticker. But I guess it isn’t by Banksy.

POSTSCRIPT
For the record, I’ve made a couple of Flickr galleries of Dogs Full of Money.
Dogs full of money (stickers) – a selection of the stickers
Dogs full of money (boxes) – a selection of the collecting boxes

“Pointer”, Glasgow: a discreet “vandal” sticker

"Pointer" burglar alarm with "Vandal" sticker, Glasgow, 2010“Pointer” burglar alarm with “vandal” sticker, Glasgow, 2010 • A very discreet vandal indeed must have placed this tiny sticker. It’s on an updated version of the ancient Pointer alarm from Hull I posted a while back. This design tames the bonkers dog logo within a circle, and replaces the stonking stencil font with tasteful Officina, the Helvetica of the 1990s, designed by type god Erik Spiekermann. The alarm’s designer appears to be channelling a 1990s CD sleeve (presumably current at the time), and probably had to fight for that lower case “p” – it’s an exciting life in the world of graphics. I still prefer the original naive design, though. • Spotted: Merchant City area, Glasgow, Lanarkshire, G1, Scotland, 2010 • Politics: In the Labour constituency of Glasgow Central

"Pointer" burglar alarm with "Vandal" sticker, Glasgow, 2010

“Teeth” sticker, Hackney: safety with a snarl

"North London Security" burglar alarm with teeth sticker, Hackney, 2006“North London Security Systems” burglar alarm with teeth sticker, Hackney, 2006 • A burglar alarm that bites, ha ha. There’s something martial about this: a Vorticist V-for-victory searchlight flaring above a snarling green hulk-mouth baring tombstone teeth. This alarm should be on the front of the Imperial War Museum, not some grotty shopfront in Shoreditch. Cropped from the bottom of the picture is the immortal graffito “Fuck the Turner” (prize), which about sums up the area’s Hoxton art-hipster concerns. Those young folk are lucky they never lived through the Blitz (I’m talking WWII here, not the 1980s night club) – they’d have had far more serious things to worry about. • Spotted: Kingsland Road, Hackney, London, E2, England, 2006 • Politics: In the Labour constituency of Hackney South and Shoreditch

"North London Security" burglar alarm with teeth sticker, Hackney, 2006

“Masco”, Lambeth: fin-de-siecle skate-punk

Masco burglar alarm, London SE1, 2007“Masco Security Systems” burglar alarm, Lambeth, 2002 • An attractively distressed tableau from faded yet quietly groovy Lower Marsh market behind Waterloo Station (there’s more about this lovely area on my other blog, Art Anorak). The box doesn’t quite date from the days when William Blake lived nearby, but 01 phone codes disappeared in 1990, so no wonder it’s rusty. The decorations date from around 2000, when there was a spate of artful graffiti in the area, probably related to customers of the uber-cool Cide skateshop (since closed down). The alarm itself falls into the ever-popular “unexplained acronym” category: MASCO could stand for anything, though I bet the S stands for Security – it always does. • Spotted: Lower Marsh, Lambeth, London, SE1, England, 2007 • Politics: In the Labour constituency of Vauxhall

Masco burglar alarm, London SE1, 2007

“Ssssh” sticker, Bristol: more mystery graffiti

Nameless burglar alarm with “Ssssh” sticker, Bristol, 2006 • Today, I intended writing an essay exploring the mutant dog stickers phenomenon introduced yesterday. However it’s taking me longer than anticipated to research, so I’ll post it in a couple more days. In the meantime, I’ll feature the other burglar alarms I’ve found with graffiti-style stickers on them – not many, sad to say. This one is great though. It’s from the same time and place as yesterday’s dog sticker, so is possibly by the same person. It again looks a bit like a Banksy, and it’s certainly witty enough to be by him – the face could be telling the burglar alarm to be quiet, but it could also be advising the burglar, or even warning drunken passersby to pipe down. It’s also a bit reminiscent of Shepard Fairey’s famous Obey Giant, but Bristol has a really thriving street art culture all its own, so it could be by any number of people. I’d love to get some further info on the artist behind this “Sssh” sticker, if anyone knows anything. None of the big Bristol graffiti blogs I could find had been updated very recently, but a good place to start is www.bristol-street-art.co.uk, which is beautifully designed and has a comprehensive list of links. • Spotted: Clifton area, Bristol, Avon, BS8, England, 2006 • Politics: In the Liberal Democrat constituency of Bristol West


“Shock”, Bristol: is this dog sticker a Banksy?

"Shorrock" burglar alarm with dog sticker, Bristol, 2006“Shorrock” burglar alarm with dog sticker, Bristol, 2006 • This charming dog-stickered burglar alarm is my all time favourite – and, just possibly, a Banksy. At first I thought those were butterflies above the dreamy labrador’s head, but they’re coins dropping into a slot: it’s a drawing of an old-fashioned guide dog collection box, cleverly positioned on a Shorrock burglar alarm to make it read “Shock”. So, why do I think it’s a Banksy? Firstly, the style and pose of the dog’s head – that confident line and slightly wistful, upwards-tilted look is something I associate with a lot of his figures. Secondly, I found it in Bristol, which is where Banksy is from. Thirdly, Banksy often depicts dogs. And fourthly – well, there is no fourth, but I’ve just always just half-thought it was a Banksy, and enjoyed the mystery. I’ve now discovered that there was spate of these photocopied dog stickers in 2006, all with their bodies redrawn in strange ways (this is the least mutated I’ve found) – and one of them did have a Banksy logo on it. However these other versions looked amateur, and any fool can xerox a Banksy logo, so the jury remains out. It’s an interesting story, on which I’ll post a separate visual essay shortly. In the meantime, I still don’t know if this is a Banksy, but it’s certainly a one-off, and I’m glad I spotted it. (Update: I later discovered it wasn’t a Banksy – the full story is here.) • Spotted: Clifton area, Bristol, Avon, BS8, England, 2006 • Politics: In the Liberal Democrat constituency of Bristol West

"Shorrock" burglar alarm with dog sticker, Bristol, 2006

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