Disclaimer This blog is about the graphic design of burglar alarms and has no connection with the companies featured. Most photos show vintage sounders and are not the latest products of the firms under discussion. For up-to-date info on any company, please visit their official website.
Burglar Alarm Britain
Where vigilante culture meets vernacular design
Category Archives: Human body
DR Security & Electrical Ltd, Islington: blobby
Posted by on May 25, 2013
“DR Security & Electrical Ltd” burglar alarm, Islington • Dr Blobby’s in da house – another version of a very old favourite, as posted here. • Spotted: Compton Street, Islington, London, EC1, England, 2008 • Politics: In the Labour constituency of Islington South and Finsbury
Crime Cure, Bristol: old fave
Posted by on May 17, 2013
“Crime Cure” burglar alarm, Bristol • Update of an old favourite, as featured here. Where’s the house? It’s surrounding the massively complex heraldic device. • Spotted: The Arcade, Horsefair, Bristol, Avon, BS1, England, 2013 • Politics: In the Liberal Democrat constituency of Bristol West
Trust Alarms, Camden: blubbing
Posted by on May 13, 2013
“Trust Alarms” burglar alarm, Camden • Another version of the superb blubbing house I featured here, near the start of this blog. • Spotted: Leather Lane, Camden, London, EC1, England, 2011 • Poliatics: In the Labour constituency of Holborn and St Pancras
Secure Installations Alarm, Falmouth: giant hand
Posted by on May 10, 2013
“Secure Installations Alarm” burglar alarm, Falmouth • Giant hand holding tiny house – nice. • Spotted: Market Strand, Falmouth, Cornwall, TR11, England, 2012 • Politics: In the Conservative constituency of Truro and Falmouth
“i2i Security”, Middlesbrough: geddit?
Posted by on March 8, 2013
“i2i Security Middlesbrough” burglar alarm, Middlesbrough • There’s only one eye so it’s Eye 2 I, geddit? If it was Eye 2 Eye, they’d have had an eye on both Is. And if it was I 2 I, it would suggest serious undermanning. Or something. Found above a suitably poetic Lord Byron sign (see below). • Spotted: Bridge Street East, Middlesbrough, Cleveland, TS2, England, 2012 • Politics: In the Labour constituency of Middlesbrough
“Pro-Guard”, Stroud: professionalism
Posted by on February 13, 2013
“Pro-Guard Security Solutions Ltd” burglar alarm, Stroud • There are lots of guard alarms, but this starey-eyed sounder is the only one offering the added excellence of professionalism. If you wanted unprofessional guarding, maybe you’d hire a certain quadratic firm who messed up a bit during the Olympics, ha ha. • Spotted: Threadneedle Street, Stroud, Gloucestershire, GL5, England, 2012 • Politics: In the Conservative constituency of Stroud
“ATA Systems”, Bristol: intricate
Posted by on January 22, 2013
“ATA Systems Protegimus” burglar alarm, Bristol • Not sure if this is related to yesterday’s ATA – the trestle-tabley monogram’s quite similar, if somewhat ambiguous as to whether it says AA or ATA. The surrounds, however, are vastly more intricate: a heraldic array of shield, crossed swords, scary cyclops eye, what looks like a maltese cross poking out from behind, and all supported with a scroll bearing the Harry Potteresque declamation “Protegimus” (we protect). Leaving nothing to chance, then. • Spotted: Nova Scotia Place, Bristol, Avon, BS1, England, 2013 • Politics: In the Liberal Democrat constituency of Bristol West
“Century”, Derby: 100 years
Posted by on January 12, 2013
“Century Alarms” burglar alarm, Derby • I already published one of these here in the Roman Britain theme, with a slightly different box. But Century also suggests time: 100 years, in fact. Hope they’re referring to longevity, and not response time. • Spotted: Town centre, Derby, Derbyshire, DE1, England, 2010 • Politics: In the Labour constituency of Derby South
“Western”, Falmouth: staring eyes
Posted by on January 9, 2013
“Western Security Systems We Watch Day and Night” burglar alarm, Falmouth • Not the most obvious time reference, but the roundel at the top states “we watch day and night”. And to reinforce the point, there’s a pair of staring eyes – one in the light, one in the dark. Nice! • Spotted: Market Strand, Falmouth, Cornwall, TR11, England, 2012 • Politics: In the Conservative constituency of Truro and Falmouth
“Isis”, Oxford: posh
Posted by on December 2, 2012
“Isis Security Systems” burglar alarm, Oxford • Oxford’s other famous river is the Isis (a posh name for the Thames), which like the Cherwell gives its name to a long-running student magazine. Isis was also an Egyptian goddess, and this sounder piles on the references with the visual pun of a startled-looking eye. I reckon that’s a CR logo underneath it, another brand that’s common in the town. • Spotted: Cornmarket, Oxford, Oxfordshire, OX1, England, 2012 • Politics: In the Labour constituency of Oxford East
Above: fops punting on the Thames, aka the Isis, at Oxford
“HSS Alarms”, Tower Hamlets: yeoman
Posted by on October 13, 2012
“HSS Alarms” burglar alarm, Tower Hamlets • HSS used to be based in Harlow, so I reckon HSS stands for Harlow Security Systems. Aptly for a sounder located in Tower Hamlets, it pictures a Beefeater – aka a Yeoman of the Guard, which is apparently an incorrect term for Yeoman Warder, ie a geezer who ceremonially “guards” the Tower of London. That looks like a vicious weapon he’s carrying, but in fact it’s just a decorative staff. Tomorrow however, the theme is indeed weapons. • Spotted: Redchurch Street, Tower Hamlets, London, E2, England, 2007 • Politics: In the Labour constituency of Bethnal Green and Bow
“Guardian Security”, Hull: James Bond
Posted by on October 3, 2012
“Guardian Security (Hull)” burglar alarm, Kingston upon Hull • Now we move from guards to guardians, an altogether gentler-sounding concept. This one’s a mysterious figure with a touch of menace – and a hint of James Bond in the logo. Because James Bond always hangs out in Hull. • Spotted: Town centre, Kingston upon Hull, East Yorkshire, HU1, England, 2005 • Politics: In the Labour constituency of Hull West and Hessle
“Guard Security Systems”, Camden: vicious
Posted by on October 2, 2012
“Guard Security Systems” burglar alarm, Camden • That’s enough Foot Guards – here’s an altogether more violent fellow, who I think may be meant to be a Norman soldier. In fact, he’s the most vicious sounder figure I’ve found since this stabby Centurion in Sheffield. • Spotted: Hatton Garden, Camden, London, EC1, England, 2004 • Politics: In the Labour constituency of Holborn and St Pancras
“Homeguard Security Systems”, Derby: bobble hats
Posted by on October 1, 2012
“Homeguard Security Systems” burglar alarm, Derby • These guys look like toy soldiers, albeit with guns – and their bearskins look like bobbles. But, given the Queen only gets four Foot Guards outside her gaff, having three on the front of your house isn’t bad going. • Spotted: Town centre, Derby, Derbyshire, DE1, England, 2010 • Politics: In the Labour constituency of Derby South
“AllguarDelta Security”, Derby: dead bear
Posted by on September 30, 2012
“AllguarDelta Security” burglar alarm, Derby • Those bearskin hats actually are made of brown bear, all the way from Canada. Apparently the Army has tried to find a synthetic substitute, without any success. I suggest: macramé. • Spotted: Town centre, Derby, Derbyshire, DE1, England, 2010 • Politics: In the Labour constituency of Derby South
“Assure”, Glasgow: foot guard
Posted by on September 29, 2012
“Assure” burglar alarm, Glasgow • The correct name for these guys is Royal Foot Guards, and the Her Maj has four in front of Buck House whenever she’s in residence (two when she’s not). This one’s lurking in a non-standard sentry box roofed with Assure’s “AA” logo. Has anyone informed the Palace? • Spotted: Merchant City area, Glasgow, Lanarkshire, G1, Scotland, 2010 • Politics: In the Labour constituency of Glasgow Central
“Sentry Alarms”, Hull: furry hat
Posted by on September 28, 2012
“Sentry Alarms Limited” burglar alarm, Kingston upon Hull • It’s not just the Queen who’s guarded by blokes in giant furry hats – they’re very popular on burglar alarms, as we shall see. The one above is on a blameless wall in Hull, but here’s one I featured earlier that was decorating a brothel (seriously). • Spotted: Town centre, Kingston upon Hull, East Yorkshire, HU1, England, 2005 • Politics: In the Labour constituency of Hull West and Hessle
“Bristol & West Security”, Bristol: criminal tattoo
Posted by on August 28, 2012
“Bristol & West Security” burglar alarm, Bristol • The name looks and sounds as if it’s a building society (the old fashioned non-hedge fund sort) – so maybe it was. Under Photoshop enhancement, the faded carbuncle above the name (below) resembles a Russian criminal tattoo. Phenomenally complex, it incorporates two unicorns, a massive old ship on a shield (shades of old Westward TV logo), crossed human arms clutching scales of justice and a snake (law v burglar v, geddit?), and the legend Quality in Service. They don’t make ‘em like that any more. • Spotted: Baldwin Street, Bristol, Avon, BS1, England, 2012 • Politics: In the Liberal Democrat constituency of Bristol West
“New Century Security”, Bristol: double whammy
Posted by on August 27, 2012
“New Century Security” burglar alarm, Bristol • This is a double whammy: a shield-within-shield logo. And not just that, but a gauntlet clutching a lightning bolt, a rampant lion, a window at night (I think), a repetition of their name, and what looks like the European stars. There’s even another version with “21st” above the title, just in case you thought the new century was the 18th. Talk about covering all the bases. • Spotted: Surrey Street, Bristol, Avon, BS2, England, 2011 • Politics: In the Liberal Democrat constituency of Bristol West
“Ambassador”, Old Coulsdon: dog-head
Posted by on August 26, 2012
“Ambassador” burglar alarm, Old Coulsdon • More cockles, and a dog prancing on someone’s head. Loads of these heraldic alarm shields have helmets on top, and this is a bit like Hadleigh – maybe they all copied the same piece of clip art. They all look like logos for local government rather than burglar alarms, anyway – I could see this over the entrance arch of an LCC council estate. Heaven knows what LPC stands for here, or how it relates to an ambassador. • Spotted: Court Avenue, Old Coulsdon, Surrey, CR5, England, 2010 • Politics: In the Conservative constituency of Croydon South
“Westminster”, Chelsea: wrong borough
Posted by on August 25, 2012
“Westminster Security Systems Ltd” burglar alarm, Kensington and Chelsea • Oi! You’re in the wrong borough! Even looking at the close-up (below), I can’t quite work out what’s going on here – two pit-bulls holding up a drunken soldier, or something. • Spotted: Godfrey Street, Kensington and Chelsea, London, SW3, England, 2010 • Politics: In the Conservative constituency of Chelsea and Fulham
“Hadleigh Security”, Tower Hamlets: crane and cockles
Posted by on August 24, 2012
“Hadleigh Security” burglar alarm, Tower Hamlets • Now we merge from shields into heraldry, where the shield is just part of an overall coat of arms, albeit probably a made-up one. This one has what appears to be a crane coming out of its helmet and balloons raining down on cockles, owned perhaps by the lord of some Cockney manor. The name makes me think of Tony “Foghorn” Hadley out of Spandau Ballet, recently heard tooting out the excellent “Gold” over many an Olympics TV show. Speaking of which, most of White Post Lane got eaten up by the Olympics, so I doubt this sounder is there any more. • Spotted: White Post Lane, Tower Hamlets, London, E9, England, 2006 • Politics: In the Labour constituency of Bethnal Green and Bow
“Aztec Solutions”, Bristol: surely a Roman?
Posted by on July 1, 2012
“Aztec Solutions” burglar alarm, Bristol • The logo says “Aztec Securities” (which, if Aztec practices were actually followed, would involve ritually ripping out the still-beating hearts of felons), but the designer has surely used clip art of a Roman soldier to illustrate it. This headgear looks strongly like a legionary’s plumed helmet with visor and ear guard to me, rather than a pre-Columbian feathered headdress with ear plugs. Either that or Sussex Alarms is portraying an Aztec too. • Spotted: Surrey Street, Bristol, Avon, BS2, England, 2011 • Politics: In the Liberal Democrat constituency of Bristol West
“Defender”, Sheffield: invader, actually
Posted by on June 30, 2012
“Defender” burglar alarm, Sheffield • Although small, this logo definitely portrays a Roman soldier – see the close-up, below. Bit of a weird concept for illustrating the firm’s name though, seeing as in Britain the Romans were invaders, rather than defenders. • Spotted: Brown Street, Sheffield, South Yorkshire, S1, England, 2010 • Politics: In the Labour constituency of Sheffield Central
“Sussex Alarms”, Brighton: superior helmet
Posted by on June 29, 2012
“Sussex Alarms” burglar alarm, Brighton • Not, as it may appear, Darth Vader, but a Roman soldier in his finely-crafted helmet.Sussex was positively crawling with Romans in olden days, their metal headgear being vastly superior to the barbarians’ leather contraptions. Not that I am suggesting Sussex is full of barbarians. • Spotted: Old Steine, Brighton, East Sussex, BN1, England, 2004 • Politics: In the Conservative constituency of Brighton Kemptown
“MG Systems”, Glasgow: possibly a Pict
Posted by on June 28, 2012
“MG Systems” burglar alarm, Glasgow • It may be slightly contentious to lump this Scottish sounder in under Roman Britain, as the Romans famously never colonised Caledonia – partly because they weren’t really that keen on it, apparently. So, although this fellow looks pretty Roman to me, he could be a Pict. The lack of a leather skirt (called, unpronounceably, a “pteruges“) is no proof either way, though, as legionaries favoured trousers (“braccae”) in colder climes. And of course the kilt hadn’t been invented yet – it was the Victorians who dreamt that particular skirt up. • Spotted: Central Station area, Glasgow, Lanarkshire, G1, Scotland, 2008 • Politics: In the Labour constituency of Glasgow Central
“Citadel”, Southwark: ghostly guardian
Posted by on June 27, 2012
“Citadel Security Systems” burglar alarm, Southwark • The ghostly guardian on this is so worn out he looks like a marauding mummy or a giant robot (reproduced small), but the name Citadel suggests it’s a Roman soldier. And the sounder’s nearly as ancient as its source matter. • Spotted: Southwark Bridge Road, Southwark, London, SE1, England, 2011 • Politics: In the Liberal Democrat constituency of Bermondsey and Old Southwark
“Century Alarms”, Derby: dapper centurion
Posted by on June 26, 2012
“Century Alarms” burglar alarm, Derby • This dapper centurion is a lot calmer than yesterday’s stabby specimen. At least I’m assuming he’s a centurion (it’s a play on the name Century, geddit?) – either that or he’s a fireman in a dress. • Spotted: Town centre, Derby, Derbyshire, DE1, England, 2010 • Politics: In the Labour constituency of Derby South
Nameless Roman soldier alarm, Sheffield: stabby
Posted by on June 25, 2012
Nameless burglar alarm with Roman soldier, Sheffield • This is the most violent sounder image I have: an anonymous Roman legionary unashamedly going about a ferocious felon-stabbing – or possibly ritual disembowelling – with a calm, impassive expression on his face. Either he’s a robot, a la Westworld, or he’s simply a psychopath. Burglars beware! • Spotted: Bank Street, Sheffield, South Yorkshire, S1, England, 2010 • Politics: In the Labour constituency of Sheffield Central
“Corinium Security”, Cirencester: Mr Grumpy
Posted by on June 24, 2012
“Corinium Security Cirencester” burglar alarm, Cirencester • Just as elderly but somewhat less DIY than yesterday’s Corinium sounder, this features a stern Roman legionary protecting the premises. In fact he’s so grumpy-looking (see enlargement, below), you’d think he was stuck out on blustery, Scot-bashed Hadrian’s Wall rather than in the softie southern posting of Cirencester. • Spotted: Town centre, Cirencester, Gloucestershire, GL7, England, 2007 • Politics: In the Conservative constituency of Cotswolds
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